Breaking News

Has the war in Iraq ended? Are the presidential candidates losing momentum? Is Britney Spears’ life no longer of interest? Is the AIDS epidemic not worth mentioning? Then why the hell are all the journalists in the United States so gung-ho over Paris Hilton? Since when did an heiress turned sex video vixen turned club-hopping bimbo become worthy of live coverage? So much that radio helicopter pilots who normally report traffic to commuters are now dispatched to hover over Hilton’s home to keep the citizens aware of the latest developments in the “trial of the year.” So much that it has even compelled me to write a blog on it.

Admittedly though, being an avid E! news viewer, I am guilty of following the tragic turn of events in Ms. Hilton’s life. I mean, how dare the judicial system confine this fragile young woman in prison, then revoke her rights to house arrest, and then sentence her back to prison for 45 days? Justice truly must be blind if all the bling on her fingers, and the makeup on her face couldn’t have stirred the judge. Perhaps this time spent in solitude will give her time to introspect and gather material for her upcoming memoir. I can just picture the title now: “Paris in Prison: That’s Hot” – or better yet, “The Simple Life Turned Complicated."

Choice vs. Chance

When we’re born, we get our janam kundalis made to see what lays ahead of us. Before we get married, we get them matched with our partner’s to ascertain our compatibilities. When we see the horoscopes section in magazines, we quickly scan to find our zodiac sign. If we rely on the stars, the planets, and these so-called fortune tellers, why do we even bother making any life altering decisions at all? If what’s meant to be will happen despite your earnest efforts to change the course of destiny, is it really worth making a choice when you can leave it to chance?

We all tell ourselves, “everything happens for a reason,” to make light out of a situation – most often not knowing what that reason is. I got a speeding ticket a few months back. Reason: the cop wanted to fill his quota (that’s of course debatable by court). The perfect job slipped out of my fingers. Reason: my dream job awaits me (that’s the optimist in me talking). I got burnt by a douchebag. Reason: a dog deserves a bitch, hence, he clearly didn’t deserve to be with me.

But I chose to speed. I chose to accept that job. I chose to fall in love. I just happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time, and with the wrong person. Often times, the choices we make are not really by choice at all. You wanted to get married by 28, but you’re surfing on Match.com on the eve of your 30th birthday. It’s no longer just a matter of making choices… it’s about taking chances. And since life always takes chances with us, it’s time we return the favor. Who knows, you just might end up right where you’re supposed to…

0 to 60 in 4 Seconds

recently talked about how change is ubiquitous, but I failed to mention also how abrupt it truly is. Our lives are much like the weather – minus the forecast – you never know when it will rain, and when it will be sunny again. I was happy again, or at least beginning to feel content and at peace with myself. But of course, if that remained to be the case, then life just wouldn’t be life.

I’m grateful for the things I have, but being human, I can’t help but focus on the things missing. Love life… nonexistent. Job security… in shambles. Grad school… a question mark. Whenever I’m down, my Mom has an interesting way of pointing out the greater hardships others faced throughout their lives – as if comparing my situation to theirs will make mine appear minuscule. I suppose it works for the first five minutes, after which the dose begins to wear off and I revert to my moping self.

But for some reason, this time around, I’m ok. Or at least I think I am. It’s as if God has been on a mission to break me out of my shell and make me look at life with eyes wide open. And what a sight it is. I know there’s a lot more to see, but at the rate my life has been going from 0 to 60 (and back) in the span of one year, I’m not sure if I can keep up.

I guess the important thing to remember is that even if you can’t keep up, keep your chin up. There will come a point in your life when days feel like weeks, and minutes feel like hours. Anticipation sometimes is purely what keeps us going. Either we're waiting for something to pass, or waiting for something to arrive. One minute you may feel invincible, and at moments notice, feel completely defeated.

Time doesn't wait for anyone... at times, you'll speed ahead or fall back... but in the end, the race is only with yourself.

History and Mystery

When we’re born, we come into this world as a present with a mysterious future waiting to unfold day by day. And with each passing day, we begin to write the pages of our past. Sometimes a past is so everlasting, that it lingers on for generations to come.

I recently visited the Holocaust Memorial Museum in DC and felt maybe a grain of what those victims endured just a few decades ago. Here lies a past that is so vivid, that it almost feels a bit raw. Everyone has a past – just not everyone chooses to tell his/her story. Every city has a past – DC just happens to be the place where history congregates itself.

It’s been said, “to move on in life, you have to let the past go.” But what is it that you let go of and still hold on to? People perish, but memories only fade away. Wounds may heal, but some scar for life – like those of the Holocaust survivors who had camp ID numbers tattooed on their arms. They were stripped of their identities, only to be replaced by a mere statistic in one of the greatest catastrophes in history.

We come into this world with a blank book, which we fill with each passing chapter. Sometimes all you need to move on is turn the page, because history only repeats itself for those who never learn from it.

Small Step, Big Leap

Sometimes the smallest of things that come naturally to you suddenly make the biggest difference when they’re no longer in the shadows of your subconscious. A few days ago, I developed a lump in my throat and it has since become the bane of my existence. Swallowing, yawning, eating, drinking… things that were quite innate, suddenly came to the forefront. It’s as if my throat was screaming (no pun intended) to get my attention. I get it, you play a pivotal role in my daily bodily functions. Now stop being a pain in the neck (pun intended)!

So it got me thinking about other things that, at the surface seem nominal – and almost trivial – yet are so significant. Like the time you say “I love you” to your wife before going to bed at night. And the way you keep a picture of an old flame stashed in your wallet, along with other valuables like cash, credit cards, and condoms. Or the time you call up a friend after her big interview at that big firm in the big apple. Perhaps if it weren’t for these small gestures, you may never be able to see the big picture.

But it also makes me wonder… say, you marry your fiancé, but you call your ex on the eve of your wedding. Which is the bigger mistake? Sometimes the smallest acts outweigh the biggest moments in your life, all in the blink of an eye. A blink – a seemingly insignificant and a naturally reoccurring reaction – is quite a powerful phenomenon… it can expunge dirt and secrete tears.
Essentially everything is broken down into its smaller components. Days into hours, hours into minutes, minutes into seconds. Actions into words, words into thoughts, thoughts into character. Now that’s not so hard to swallow.

Catch Me If You Can

I’ve seen this happen everywhere: boy sees girl, boy likes girl, boy pursues girl, girl finally concedes, boy gets bored. It all leads to one simple question: why? Why the chase, why the hoopla? At first, there’s passion, lust, and that ravenous desire to do everything possible (and beyond) to capture the object of your affection’s heart. You know, like the time he did something really unexpectedly sweet… like brought you brownies to cheer you up, because nothing quite hits the spot like 500 calories in all the wrong places. But somewhere down the road it all turns into… sheer blah. Forget brownies, you’ll be lucky to get chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not scorned… just a bit jaded. And it just makes me wonder… if all the fun is in the chase, then maybe it’s better to never get caught… because you always want what you don’t have.

Change is a Four Letter Word

Yes, I know how to count, but that’s a saying (apparently cited by someone really philosophical but poor in math). One of my favorite quotes is “the only constant in life is change.” But if change is so damn frequent, then why is it so hard for people to change? Surely we change everything… our jobs, partners, house, cars, values, profile pictures, the color of our hair… so why not ourselves?

Whether you admit it or not, everyone is guilty of trying/hoping/wishing to change someone into something they’re not. “Oh he’ll change” we tell ourselves, in hopes of denying what’s so blatantly obvious. Changing our ways and habits is like trying to keep a sand castle built before the ocean washes it away. No matter how big your castle is, no matter how far away you build it… the water always seeps through. Sometimes people change for what appears to be forever, where in reality, is just a matter of time before the next wave hits.

But of course, as always, there are exceptions to the rule. An ex convict can truly reform once he leaves prison and become a civilized individual (or a rap artist, for that matter). A mother can abstain from partying and start changing diapers. A student can start staying after school for tutoring instead of detention. A boyfriend can start being faithful after cheating the first ten times. (OR maybe not! – Just remember ladies, you can transform a frog into a prince charming, but you can’t turn a dog into a man).

The simple truth is that change is a necessity. If you had the mentality of a 15 year old, you would never be able to raise a child as a 25 year old. If you had the experience of a novice, you would never reach the heights of a CEO. Some changes are inevitable, some intended, and yet some simply impossible…

Risky Business

We take risks everyday – granted, some are bigger than others. But they’re a necessary evil in life. We take them to get ahead in our profession, to make an extra buck in an investment, or to take a chance in love. Usually we can hedge our bets in money matters by formulating a plan B, but there are no back ups when it comes to matters of the heart.

I recently met a woman – incredibly beautiful, intelligent, a devoted wife, a loving mother, and a successful leader in her profession. But somewhere along the line, this picture perfect life became marred by her husband. The same husband she married for love – not for money, willingly – not by settling, forever – not until he got bored of it. Who would’ve thought that the same man that vowed “till death do us part” could now bear to live without her? Yes, divorce is quite the norm, but why do people even get married if they go into a marriage keeping divorce as an option? (A note to all the finance majors: I hope this isn’t what the class “Future and Options” was about in college).

It makes me wonder if “commitment” and “loyalty” are just empty and hallow words like that of most men’s hearts. Seems as if the meaning of risk is changing in itself, where staying on top means running someone down, and love means no strings attached. But living a life without taking risks is like – for a lack of better analogy – eating an orange with all the juice sucked out of it… there’s just no flavor to it.

Maybe it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. Maybe you can only truly start building your life after it falls apart.

Connection Lost

People have an insatiable need to stay connected to other people. Why else would millions of people be registered on sites like these? Why else would wireless companies continue to attract new subscribers?

Whether it’s a missed call or an email from a friend, it reminds us how close by someone is… even when they’re nowhere near you. I think it really originates from our fear of being lonely. Simply bumping into a stranger can remind us that we’re never really alone; but even being in a room full of a hundred strangers couldn’t equate to the pleasure you get from sitting with a single friend. Maybe that’s what you call the power of one.

I guess beyond just staying connected, what people are really searching for is the ability to connect with someone. And sometimes as much as we want to, we just can’t – if only it were as easy as connecting to the internet with a click of a button.

Social (R)evolution

Science says homo sapiens have evolved from an earlier form of species – the ape is it? Well, it’s not important. I think what human beings should have truly evolved from are butterflies. Think about it… they’re born as caterpillars, live inside a cocoon, and finally metamorphosis into a beautiful form… pollinating one flower to the next – much like us.

We’re born crawling around, live a sheltered life (as many of my fellow South Asian friends can attest), and finally (with the help of make-up and digital age), we transform into beautiful creatures. But the most striking similarity lies in our nature to act as – you guessed it – a social butterfly. We walk in and out of people’s lives – more often than not – unannounced.
You never know when a stranger will turn into a friend… and vice versa. Sometimes people come into our lives and plant the seeds to a lifelong relationship, and you watch it blossom together through the years. But relationships – much like real flowers – can wilt and die; and I’ve witnessed and endured many such relationships. People will come and people will go. Ok, let me rephrase that: people will come, people will go, and some will keep coming back like the common cold.

But have you ever wondered, that if you were to meet the people you’ve been friends with for years – today – would you still become friends? Lucky for my close friends, the answer is yes (of course, they’re reading this so it’s an obligatory statement). Unfortunately, the same can’t be said about certain individuals (don’t worry, if you’re reading this, then it’s not you). I realized today how important it is to truly grow yourself before you try to grow up with someone else. You often meet someone during the prime raging-hormones stage in life, and after years of movies, dinners, parties, and trips together… you realize this person is nothing you ever wanted – yet suddenly everything you need. You often become blinded by your comfort zone that you fail to see how truly uncanny your relationship is.

So unless if you truly do live inside a cocoon, you will invariably meet various people in your life. (And if you’re on myspace, your odds of meeting people are dramatically improved). Everyone that walks into your life plays a role – albeit, some play the lead while others serve as the extra. But no matter what, everyone will leave a mark and make a difference – yes, even the mailman. There are those that you’ll call when you just need a drink – and those that you’ll call after you’ve had one too many. There will be that one that you just can’t forget – and the one whose name you can’t recall. And finally, there will be those who stand as the wind beneath your wings – and those that will knock the wind right out of you.