Searching in Space

I have a confession to make – well, to those of you that don’t already know this. I subscribed as a member to shaadi.com about four months ago. Why? Well I figured, why not? Apparently meeting someone the old fashioned way is so passé – might as well see what these “807,112 and counting matches” have been raving about. So I part-grudgingly, part-jokingly, and part-optimistically clicked on “register.”

Within the first 48 hours of joining, my profile had been viewed over 200 times and I had received over 50 “interests” from suitors around the world. That was until I discovered this little function they call “filter.” I can select exactly who I’m interested in based on everything from their height to their location to their profession to even blood type (yes, because God forbid you marry someone with an incompatible blood type). It almost seemed too good to be true – I mean, here’s a site that’s willing to cater to my each and every whim. So, I went on a checkbox ticking spree and selected all the things I was looking for in my dulhe raja. Surely, this ought to bring me a step closer to finding The (elusive) One a lot quicker, I thought. Well, it’s been four months, 1 week, and 3 days (but who’s counting?) since I joined this site full of “10 million possibilities” – yet not a single one that has stopped me in my tracks.

Perhaps the people over at shaadi.com sensed my – and those other 10 million still single-and-looking members’ – skepticism over the true successful nature of this site. Perhaps that’s why they released Matrimony version 2.0 this week. I kid you not. I received a notification email informing me of the site’s enhanced interface applications and improved algorithms. Furthermore, this version is “aimed to empower me and make my search for a life partner, fast, intuitive and easy.” Right – why didn’t I think of that? All we need is a more robust search engine to becoming one step closer to finding our life partner. Eureka!

The site has increasingly become more of an annoyance than anything else. I get messages from guys asking me to demystify myself – mainly because I refused to write an autobiography under the “about me” section of the profile, whereas others have taken the liberty to boast about their many oh-so-great-and-unique qualities. If you really want me to respond, here’s a hint: don’t make “hey” the subject of your message, because that just screams READ ME, doesn’t it? Also, don’t message me if your user ID resembles anything similar to “dream_come_true” or “the_one_for_you.” Of course, sense of humor is key, but where and how you apply it, is even more crucial. Take notes boys.

Despite my cynicism towards this site (and all other related dating/matrimony services), I still remain a one in a 10 million member – partly for entertainment reasons (try reading some of the profiles out there if you want a good laugh), and partly because… well, I’m still searching for that one in a million…