All's Not Fair in Love

There’s a line from the movie “Kal Ho Na Ho” where the character proposes to a girl and says kneeling down, “I know right now there’s no love for me in your heart, because you love someone else. But I promise that if you give me a chance, I will spend the rest of my life loving you enough for the both of us.” Touching and very Bollywood, indeed. However, it makes me wonder if it’s powerful enough for me to accept the proposal. Allow me to explain:
Is it better to be with someone that loves you, or to be with someone that you love? That is the question.

It’s a question that has spurred great debates among me and my friends, yet a question that has remained open to speculation. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum so my arguments have been anything but biased. I know that being the object of someone’s affection brings you more than just flowers and compliments. The title tends to come with a pedestal that guys sit you upon, where you are infallible and almost too delicate to handle.
“You’re one of the best things to have happened to me.”
“Why didn’t I meet you sooner? Where were you all this time?”
“You’re like a breath of fresh air…so refreshing.”
These are the words spoken by those who have fancied me in the recent past. But when I read them back, I’m almost a bit puzzled at its oddity – mainly because it never struck me to feel the same about them.

Then there’s the other end of the pole – when you become the lover – rather than the one loved. This is when you truly realize the depths of your feelings for a person. I once drove a 100 miles on a weeknight after work, with a pit stop to pick up cupcakes, to surprise a guy I was dating on his birthday. Not to toot my own horn, but I can be pretty damn sweet if the right guy comes along. But it was evident soon after, that the drive back home was going to be a lonely one. Yet I still yearned for his affection, in hopes that the scale of balance would finally tilt in my favor. Well, it never did. I couldn’t fathom why despite my attempts, he still couldn’t reciprocate the feeling back. Just like how I couldn’t get myself to fall for those who had fallen for me.

Yet looking back, the times I was the happiest was with the person that also made me the saddest. I know that being with someone that loves and appreciates me will always try to keep me happy, but I also know that if I’m with the one I really love and want, I’ll do everything in my power to make him happy. The question then becomes… which gives you more satisfaction – being at the receiving or the giving end? And no, having both is not an option. After all, this is reality – not some chic flick.