C'est La Vie

I’ve been debating whether I should write this blog or not. Writing it seems to give it more credence than it deserves, but if I didn’t… it still wouldn’t make it any less inconsequential. So I’m putting my pride aside and stripping my thoughts naked.

A day that I’ve been long expecting – half-dreading, half-wishing – finally arrived. I received the news of my ex’s engagement, which wasn’t really news to me at all. He had been doing such a wonderful job lurking around in my life like a shadow, that I foreshadowed this probably long before he even did. I used to wonder how things would be when this day would come. Will I be single? Will I care? Will he still be a liar? Will he be happy? And now that the moment of truth is here, the answers almost don’t seem to matter, because the only question that makes a difference is… would I rather be in her shoes? The beauty of seeing his life unravel before mine is I get to see how that could’ve been my life – and how glad I am that it isn’t.

I wrote this blog not because there’s baggage that needs to be unloaded, but because I like to give credit where it’s deserved. He played a big role in my life, there’s no denying that. But he’s about to play an even bigger role in someone else’s life, and there’s no denying that either. I’m not bitter, nor am I jealous or hurt – ok fine, maybe a little. Life does seem a bit unfair at times like these; how can a person who caused so many people so much grief deserve to be so happy? You see, getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars; you have to let go at some point in order to move forward. All great (and not-so-great) things must come to end. And in this not-so-great end, is my great new beginning.