Silencing the Wedding Bells

I seem to have taken this “turning over a new leaf” thing to the extreme. My recent actions and change in attitude have managed to shock the one person I thought impossible…. myself. Jumping out a plane – risky yet adventurous. Chopping off my hair – drastic yet understandable. Not wanting to get married – now that’s just crazy talk.

I can pinpoint the precise moment this thought entered my mind, and never quite made it through the exit door. A friend told me the story behind someone’s divorce – nothing original though: husband cheats on wife with a coworker; and to add insult to injury, he takes the mistress out to the very place his wife wanted to go for her birthday (on her birthday, might I add). Not to say all men are alike, but has marriage completely lost all sanctity? Why do people chase like dogs, struggle to make it work, and celebrate their union – only to hire the best lawyer possible 7.5 years later to legally relinquish themselves from all bonds created from that holy state of matrimony?

In all fairness though, for every heartbreaking story I hear, I’m reminded of an equally heartwarming story of a couple that has stood the test of time. I once met a cab driver who told me about a backpacking trip to Europe where fate introduced him to the love of his life, and has since been happily married for over 30 years. They defied cultural barriers, and reinstated my belief in fate. Or more recently, my hairdresser told me about the love letters (yes actual letters – like the stuff that requires postage and ink) he and his (then) pen pal used to write to each other. They defied the vast distance, and reminded me that patience and respect go a long way.

But just because I choose to remain a miss, why does it have to feel as if something is amiss in my life? I don’t want to conform to society’s notions of what’s considered “right and proper.” I don’t want to commit to someone who might just be a page, rather than a chapter, in my life. The simple fact of the matter is that people – men and women alike – can’t be trusted and marriage only obligates you to remain together. I’m not saying I’ve sworn off being in a committed relationship either – but I don’t find it necessary to get a marriage license as a stamp of approval to validate my relationship.

But I also know that the hopeless romantic in me (she’s still in there) will make me change my tune if I meet someone incredible yet completely unassuming… that someone who will shake me from the core and make me believe in love again. As for now, the search for Mr. Right has been called off, because Ms. Modi is in no rush to turn Mrs. Right.