The Ex Factor

Can you remain friends with an ex? Yes it’s the million dollar question. Obviously it varies based on relationships, but here’s my attempt at answering it: No, simply put – at least not until you can stop EXpecting things from an ex. Expectations lead to disappointments – while you’re in a relationship, that is. But having expectations from an ex simply leads to heartbreak.
There are a million and one reasons why people break up, but the underlying cause in most of the cases is that at least one of the partners is unhappy. In such an event, you can either make attempts to rekindle the spark that first brought you together, or agree to part your ways. Once that “fire” has been EXtinguished, maybe you just need to wait for the smoke to clear; and perhaps then you can see things more clearly, and learn to acknowledge their new found happiness with someone else.

But that “someone else” suddenly makes things so complicated, because it raises a whole new crop of questions. Is there a time frame for moving on? Is there a magic formula for how long you should wait before jumping back into the dating scene? Again, the answer varies (and is highly debatable). But if someone else is able to provide what you couldn’t to your ex, then who’s the victim and who’s to blame?

Obviously no one really wants to become an ex. You formalize a relationship because you hope to build a future together – not so that you can be left in the past. So when does an ex truly become an ex? Is it simply when you end all physical relations or when you liberate your thoughts from all mental EXhaustion too? If an “ex” is defined as something of the past, then what do you call it when his residue remains in the present?

The topic of exes has been EXplored for ages now. (Monogamy, apparently, is an ancient concept). Everything from “how to get over an ex” to “how to remain friends with an ex” to “how to get rid of an ex” has been written about. But what movies forget to depict, and authors fail to EXplain are the gray areas in between… when you’re stuck somewhere between love and hate, somewhere between indifference and jealousy, somewhere between the past and future. I guess the fact of the matter is that you’re always in transit… you will always be in the middle of something.

The more I think about it, anything imbedding the word “ex” seems to have a negative connotation attached: Expense, Exhaust, Expire, Expunge, Exterminate. But then there’s also Exciting, Excellent, Exemplify, Extraordinary, Exculpate.

But perhaps the most befitting word of them all is captured by: Exit.