Burn It Up

Ok, disregard my last blog – I don’t know what I was smoking. I feel as if I just eclipsed around this thing called love; I’ve seen it, felt it, and witnessed it from all angles now, and I can say that I’m finally beginning to understand it. Finally…I think.

As I was listening to two of my friends gush about their new blossoming relationships, it occurred to me that I too, want that. I do want to get married. I do want to believe in the sanctity of vows and promises. I mean, who was I kidding? I already have my wedding songs picked out, along with my colors and party favors. The only thing left to pick out is a groom now. But more than a wedding, I want a marriage.

Hearing them talk also made me reform my stance on the debate over: “is it better to have loved and lost, or to never have loved at all?” I used to think the former caused too much pain and agony, thus, it would be better to never get caught up in the love shenanigans. But a scary thought then crept into my mind later that night: what if I never fall in love again? After all, there’s a sense of mortality and virtue in longing for someone. Without having someone to love, is sort of like being an envelope without an address.

As interesting as the past couple of years have been being a 20 odd year old, single gal in the city, I’m ready to hang up my gloves and step out of the rink. It’s a crazy world in there, believe you me. Meeting someone isn’t the hard part. The trouble is finding that someone that makes you want to stop time yet rush to the altar, all at once in this weird sweet cacophony. Those who have recently professed their desire to pursue a relationship have had a lot to offer – but there’s something missing – it’s that damn spark. I’m talking about that can’t get enough of you—inconvenient—unexplainable—sweaty palms—just want to grab and kiss you—kind of a spark. (Hopeless romantic here, remember?)

A single heartbreak, two boyfriends, and countless dates after, I have finally discovered what matters most in a relationship; ultimately, it doesn’t matter how smart, how hot, how rich, or how sweet a guy is, because all it takes is a spark to ignite the fire that will light up both of your worlds.